The Phase That was....

The time has gone
The chime has gone
The noise is here
The reality is near

I have changed, my surrounding has transformed
I feel ditched, here honesty is not armed
I used to play in grass before
Now there are books back and fore
I had wandered the road carelessly then
With people smiling friendly at me
Now they say ‘let it be’…
And no one asks me ‘tu bein?’

I used to come home bruised then
I use to come home bruised even now….
These bruise now are on my heart
Those, well I was just hit by child or a cow
That was a time , when people taught me
“beta don’t lie, it’s a bad habit”
Now the same populace burden me..
“you’ll have to lie, you can’t live without it…”

I pondered, I thought
Many those ideas, I fought
Trying to think what exactly changed...
Was it me or the others who gained?
‘That’ extra knowledge,
‘That’ extra awareness…
To treat me differently…
To force me to treat others differently.
I didn’t get what I lacked
The only difference that faced back
Was that…
I was 8 then, now I am 18
And then the only thing left to be seen…
Was.
The time has gone
The chime has gone
The noise is here
The reality is near
The phase that was
Is now only in….a black box..
Which contains the toy
I used to play,when I was
Just a small boy..

We need DARKness

Rainbow would never be rainbow
if sunshine had never met rain

No one would ever need comfort
If there was no sadness or pain

But life holds both sunshine and showers
The days aren't all bright and fair

So look thou' showers for the rainbows
You'll always find hope, ahinning there

Why worry and have wrinkles
When you can have smile and have dimples...

True Love

There is no feeling in this worls....or in this universe...as pure as innocent as true love, just take it straight. There is no comparison for it. There is no comparison for the initial stages of musing....attention grabbing....the butterflies hiting every corner of the stomach....No comparison for those start up talks....then those intimacy of just being close.....of wanting nothing more than 'just a presence of a person'...its makes a person so much less greedy, ...thrs no comparison for tht trust in the other....to conifide with in big secrets.....small secrets....or just no secrets.........there is no comparison for tht 'peck' momment.....and most imp of all there is no comparison -just none- of the feeling of stability....of the feeling of a strength.....of the lovely feeling of that hand....holding which u can ride on evn on the coal laden roads......There is no feeling as innocent and even though as mature....as TRUE LOVE

The Mobile Laments

The machine, creaked and began - quite unusual sound for the company of such status. The assembly line moved towards what seemed like yielding azure. My fellow mates ahead saw it coming and screamed. DHAM, the inevitable happened and they had their body. My turn came-DHAM… “AAHH” I thought. And I had my body too, an acceptable quirky white and red, christened ‘NOKIA 5200’. This step was a necessary evil for me, after all I can’t go naked in my user-or rather exploiters hand. Without any human intervention (thank goodness), I landed in small and then in a big box, which said ‘Made in China’. I had my first airplane ride. And I was in a colourful country India. Soon I was in a ‘NOKIA PRIORITY’ shop. Nothing much happened there, as just the next day I arrived; a guy came an bought me, the retailer opened me up. They all talked something about ‘Sim card’ and unclothed my back to put in a little piece of- well something which connected me to a tower a mile away, which started intoxicating me painfully with its radiation, and made me flash three stupid sticks on my screen with a name that read – ‘HUTCH’. Then they penetrate one more thing named ‘512MB memory card’ into me. “Great” the guy said and paid the retailer and zoomed off with me in his vessel.

On reaching his home err… my home; I realized that my user’s (exploiter’s?) name is Nijeesh. He did look a bit foolish, and proved himself the same later. He Smsed some 50 contacts as: “hey m gt a nw fone, nokia 5200, real kewl 1 it”. He spoiled my English. He loaded me with 60s of his ‘Favourite’ songs and blasted me day long. Time and now people would come and admire me in his hand. And I also learned from them that this moron had before lost 2 of his fones…oho PHONES, and I shivered being his third!

People would call him, give him miscalls 24 seven, and he would reciprocate them or just initiate his own string of ‘communication’. if I am not sucking his ears I would be lying connected with his laptop, absorbing his ‘favourites’. So many loads and this imprudent personality would put me to die without charging me……phew. But that’s a life of mobile phone like me, there thousands of many brothers and sisters (yeah we too have genders) all over the world (most of them Chinese). We transited from luxury to necessity. Our status became like a toothbrush! –“each one keep one”. We trudged all along with bad network coverage, low battery, gravity!!, and some fool even throw us in water. But yes the Homo sapiens say “I just can’t do without my phone”.

My user too gives a lot of trouble but at the day’s end, before he dozes; he gives me a sweet kiss, that kiss makes me stay charged up and raring to go with my user err sorry….. with my Nijeesh.

[i think emotions can better be expressed....when in poetry, one such by me.]

I pity.....myself

I pity myself I can’t hate
I shame myself, I can’t be late
Cool or hot…
I love myself for what I’m not.

I’m trapped in world that sees me down
I’m trapped in web that would seize me down
I have swum a river that had no water…
I have jumped a hill which had no height

I went through all this thinking of my ideals
I crossed all this preserving my thoughts
A surge then appeared front, behind and at sides….
Of people, like a huge tide….
They thought I’m not like them
They thought I’m a fool, more happy than dumb
They wanted me to be gloom
They wanted me to be a puppet
They wanted me to be a pessimist
They wanted me to be a sadist
I refused….
I refute….

The surge was no farther
It was on me, crushing, bruising…using force
I felt what I thought was true….
But the fact too held….
That I just ‘Felt’….

I stood up, they had gone….
Pains reaching my bone…
I turned starting to go…..
Thinking about the beat I just ate…..
I pity myself I can’t hate
I shame my self I can’t be late….

I am

Feeling yourself, imposing yourself, letting yourself being heard, perceived, analysed, praised, et all, has being the greatest of human needs. If not the foremost. But is it coveted? Or is it righteous to desire it? Debate continues….

When you are brought in a setup, you want to control it, bring it under your authority. You want your decisions to be implied, accepted and all those positive feed-backs. And when the same happens, you are the happiest person on terra ferma. You walk with head held high, and sometimes with your fist tight. Then comes a time when your undertakings are the only thing being implied, and set into motion. Giving you a sense of satisfaction and fulfilment. But what if the reverse happens? No one listens to you, to your suggestions,…then what?

Your ego is hurt, it’s like something wrong is being done. Like hey ‘I’ know it, ‘I’ can do it, give it to ‘me’. I and me comes into play. Crushing you internally, you loose your appetite, sleep, you stop doing everything you liked, and ever did. You half heartedly abide to guidelines presented by others.

So what is the correct way or module? The debate again puts ups its head. To be or not to be? Whether to come up in every space or to back off often? Which way the correct, which lane to choose? One makes you to be an self-centric, the other makes you an ‘walk over’ carpet. The decision is rather the middle path, the centre lane, the one which is blend of both. This compromises on both fronts, without diluting the quality. As you can see I no where near giving an apt answer, because that’s the way it is in the end; no one exactly know what to do? But it does depend from individual to individual. Because if you think that ‘I am’, then even the ‘others are’.

Beginning when evryone half way through

Really, the title sayz it all. geting in it to late. And whats worse is that at a very bad time; In blank now.