Priyarami of Mint gets a check.

Read this first

That got hit by this:

Pasting below comments (to bump it ahead) from one of the user (Richa1909) that speaks true minds of current Indians and has potential of facing the ego's of Mint Editors by showing how a professional article can be written.

It is very easy to get mad at you for writing this article and curse you for being unpatriotic and cynical, but I guess being an Indian also teaches you tolerance and wisdom enough to put our point across in a calm but reasonable fashion.

It was very surprising that a journalist of your caliber takes refuge in such an article, cynical and mocking in nature to the point of being contemptuous. The entire article feels so disconnected from today’s India’s reality that it’s surprising you think an average Indian today does not have a mind of his own just because he is a part of the crowd – which is not the case as we are equally capable of questioning things. I’m sorry for the detail but I feel compelled to address all the points raised by you.

Since when does large-scale affinity of a demographic to a fruit or a post meal freshener, define the spirit of a nation. Are you trying to tell us that no other country in the world prefers mangoes or any other fruit to this extent? And if any of those nationals do not conform to the affinity, they start questioning their belongingness to the country? It’s almost as if you are conveying that India as a country is not allowed to have its own food legends.

I’m sure there are a lot, A LOT of Indians who do not understand or follow cricket. None of those that I know had doubts about their origins for that reason.

If you feel everybody in India reads Chetan/Paul, you are certainly yet to meet a lot of readers. Again, even if they do, do you think you can define the sample group even by one common characteristic? I don’t.

Salwar-kameez? It’s not even Indian in origin. And frankly that statement seemed really like a 40-yr old wannabe.

If all the conversations around you begin with “You’ve lost/gained so much weight!”, you have been attending way too many parties lately. Personally, I think it’s a great conversation starter, esp if you are trying to relax the other person. I’m a sales person. And this really works.

I’m sure if you researched before writing this, you will find that the followers of daily soaps have been reduced dramatically in the recent past, forcing TV channels to redesign their prime time programming. They are popular no doubt, and even the diehard regular audience do question the content, but large stay home populations of home-makers and retired people are largely dependent on TV for their daily entertainment and have to do with what is available. It is called soap for a reason – like soaps, the bathing soaps – this market is large enough, has a lot of scope and demand and thus, equally competitive and it does not mean that everyone is using every soap.

Most of the people I know, switch off their cell phones during a movie. You are saying you want to define my nationalism by my cell phone etiquette?

The national anthem before every movie – then say u are not a Mumbaikar. It is not played in movie theaters in practically rest of the country. I really did not understand whether you had a problem with standing to the music of national anthem in the theatres or to the national anthem at all.

The elevator thing – the most frivolous reason I have seen anybody use to define a nationality. What about people in non-metros like Mysore and Chandigarh, where people respect queues and what about those smaller cities where elevators are not present in every building? Wonder what parameters their residents use to ascertain the extent of their nationality.

Totally agree with you on the girl child point, but I had to sit back and rethink about your capabilities as a journalist if you are defining Indianness on the basis of the attitude of a corrupt chief minister, not even a policy maker mainstream politician. I didn’t see you questioning the Indianness of your parents anywhere, and they did dutifully raise a girl child with all enthusiasm without weighing how Indian they were or should have been.

Fake pride and nationalism?? This was seriously offensive. Will you pls enlighten my small being which country in the world has “authentic” pride in themselves and what were the measures they adapted to calculate the greatness they have associated with themselves?

Festivals and weddings in India are a part of our culture. They have historically been a reason that the family as an institution still exists in India. They have been portals of inculcating values in our children and that’s why teen pregnancy/abortions are yet to become the obsessive problems of this country. If nothing else, festivals/weddings are a great way to break the shackles of the daily routine we tend to fall in, unwind, have some fun, meet people and look good – basically all the things which release endorphins in the body. Can’t reach to a point where I begin to see the problem with this. This is one point where I don’t care if it defines who we are. I’m happy something cheerful defines who we are and so be it. (Holi is my favorite festival and if you find time, I’ve written a blog here which you can read describing how Holi is still celebrated in parts of URBAN India. It’s much more beautiful in the rural parts, which you wouldn’t know of since if this article is anything to go by, you have never visited any).

As proud as a Hindu I am, I find it unfair that you define Indianness by one religion. What about the so many other religions and cultures that are flourished, promoted and acknowledged in India? And trust me, Hinduism as a religion is probably which allows the most independence. It doesn’t force any of the natural followers to follow it to the core. Coincidentally all the atheists and agnostics I have seen are Hindus. (Most of the comments on the article are hung up on what you wrote about Lord Ram. As an educated adult, you are entitled to having your own opinions and believing in them, but as an equally educated adult, I think you missed out on having the sensitivity to ensure you consciously did not hurt anybody’s sentiments).

About the poor man who’s the girl’s father – his woes are much bigger than jus paying for the food of 800 people. And if somebody wants to celebrate the fact that their children are beginning a new life together (without the groom family’s pressure), I think this feeling goes beyond boundaries and nationalities.

You know what, reading this article I realized that you are so much more Indian than you want to take credit for. You are Indian because you find everything back home scornful and foul just because you spent some years abroad. You are Indian because even though you say white is not your favorite skin color; you attach much more credibility to a foreigner’s work than an Indian. You are Indian because, despite being a journalist for a national daily, you define the world only by what’s happening around you. You are an Indian because you find it easy to see villains all around, rather than getting up and being or helping a hero.

There are many many more good things that are really Indian but I can’t use them to say how Indian you are as none of them come out through this article.

This article seemed very very myopic and totally laden by personal bias. Not only did it seem extremely ill researched, even if everything you said was absolutely true, I find a disconnect with the fact that you are looking for reasons to define your nationality. I find it extremely unbelievable that a person with responsible duties of a journalist is sketching the face of a nation based on the description from its politicians? Which country in the world is a reflection of its politicians?

I’m a proud Indian and I always thought nationalism did not come by reason. I always thought everyone in the world felt proud of where they came from – without having to wonder if it was justified.

-- James

While the rest of the world did something important. It was 'School-Visit' time for Zandiv Sev in Tezpur.

Our reporter caught up with Zandip Sev - A Rhino visiting his childhood place for general merriment with his then small Rhino friends who all have now turned into, well, big Rhinos themselves.

As our hero spring-hops around sharing sweet nothings with his confidants, 12^th-man-ish friends, and those-who-might-team-up-to-get-him-later-to-settle-remaining-scores sneaky lil piece of bastards, his big eyes clearly lets out the nostalgic aura of a 99 years old aunt from down-town Kolkata. When probed as to what were his first-sight thoughts about this reunion. Zandiv Sev quickly philosophises - “It’s like showing both your middle fingers at once. Just a sooper awesome feeling.” Smartly enough, he adduces almost immediately punctuating his remark with a strong backing. Defying all Laws of Averages and commonality of purpose amidst the clan, he sure has made many a, how to put it delicately? – ‘Haters’. Yeah, some of them with certain technical prowess. And, as the world (mostly a small tea-shop in Tezpur) knows that Middle Fingerati is his only kill.

He was then seen visiting his classrooms, clicking pictures with his horn all up and stuff, and doing the usual ‘oh-damn-we-are-together-again’ things. “My favourite professor then was our “Defence Against Poachers” teacher. He totally got the premonition of our ordeal when we had to face them during tourist seasons, as just now and he made us stack all the odds on our side when things like facing you all bipeds were considered. I mean look at all of us now, not a fear in the world!” In reaction to this, all his friends nodded in unison incessantly. This gesture sent the seismic sensors, in the other part of the country, all beeping fervently.

As he walked around, crossing gaily, his “Use Your Horn” lab he remembers how it’s assistant had once made him an, what he now calls, ‘Indecent Proposal.’  “Clearly I was taken aback. I mean, what else do you expect a feather-filled-mattress-of-innocence 12 year old Rhino to do at such situations?” Just as the reporter was stitching his fallen jaw back to its place, Zandiv adds “In retrospect, that event did teach me a lot. Now I totally can put myself in the shoes of my preys when I plan to go for the kill” He smiles, in very rhinolisious way. The report shudders and increases the intermittent distance by a one full hand more.

So, what is he upto nowadays? The reporter asks. To which he replies – “Well, between checking tatkal ticket availabilities for trains to a certain district in Gujarat and pushing the fact down people’s throat that “I Am Awesome” , I usually take out a lot of time in upholding my title of being the first one in our species to have learned the computers.” To which the small one standing next to him replies “Yes, true. Even during the hey-days he used to be super geeky and told us all about How-Not-To-Get-Any...” at which point, he was told shush up by Zandip Sev. We can only guess where that one was headed too.

The reporter at this point is agog about Zandiv’s future endeavours. Do they too involve Matrix-style flowing down equation on a LED screens in all those greeny setups while he tried to make of it? “Well, no.” He says. Followed by “I read the whole ‘Confessions of an Economic Hitman” by John Perkin in one sitting, hogged “False Economy” in one nightfall,  and even skimmed through Nail Furguson’s articles over the Internet. But I set all the acquired enlightenment to rot and planned to join a PGDM course anyway.  In my defence, you can only be on one side of ‘The Truth’ and if you are not one the winning side, then even if that side is ‘The Truth’, it is of no use to you. And I always choose the winning side.”  The report at this point had his ‘Ting’ moment. And he made a small note of the same comment.

On the more personal front, the reporter enquires, how are things? “You see, with great intelligence comes great shiny horns. And the ladies just dig for such combinations” He winks. “I use this special HornyShine^TM block razor to keep my member shining and, well, Horny, if you know what I mean. And then I let contingency take over. Who am I to judge where the things would lead to?” He shrugs and winks again just as some female Rhino nonchalantly dismiss the fact of his existence and walks by. “I also cash on my popularity and do a lot of awareness programs” He informs. “My recent one – Birth Control – is catching up such momentum that I am buck sure that our endangered ratings might shoot up and the world will start taking us seriously. I envisage some uppity news channel even launching a whole damned campaign with some sundry mobile network company which would go as “Save the 1411 Rhinos” or some shit to which no one would have any idea “How to” but still, I might get a photo-op in the bargain.” He smiles. The report is now totally awestruck by the viability of the whole idea.

Just as the reporter was about wrap up the whole meet up thing, he steps down for one final query – “How much does a Rhino of your proportion weighs?” To which Zandiv Sev replies “Don’t ask me The Player. I am a lean-o-mean guy of the lot. Ask the loser fat-wannabe one’s trotting behind” At this point; Zandiv scuttles away leaving behind a cloud of red Tezpury dust, into the deep enclosures of the horizons. In all his Rhino-lic glory.