While the rest of the world did something important. It was 'School-Visit' time for Zandiv Sev in Tezpur.

Our reporter caught up with Zandip Sev - A Rhino visiting his childhood place for general merriment with his then small Rhino friends who all have now turned into, well, big Rhinos themselves.

As our hero spring-hops around sharing sweet nothings with his confidants, 12^th-man-ish friends, and those-who-might-team-up-to-get-him-later-to-settle-remaining-scores sneaky lil piece of bastards, his big eyes clearly lets out the nostalgic aura of a 99 years old aunt from down-town Kolkata. When probed as to what were his first-sight thoughts about this reunion. Zandiv Sev quickly philosophises - “It’s like showing both your middle fingers at once. Just a sooper awesome feeling.” Smartly enough, he adduces almost immediately punctuating his remark with a strong backing. Defying all Laws of Averages and commonality of purpose amidst the clan, he sure has made many a, how to put it delicately? – ‘Haters’. Yeah, some of them with certain technical prowess. And, as the world (mostly a small tea-shop in Tezpur) knows that Middle Fingerati is his only kill.

He was then seen visiting his classrooms, clicking pictures with his horn all up and stuff, and doing the usual ‘oh-damn-we-are-together-again’ things. “My favourite professor then was our “Defence Against Poachers” teacher. He totally got the premonition of our ordeal when we had to face them during tourist seasons, as just now and he made us stack all the odds on our side when things like facing you all bipeds were considered. I mean look at all of us now, not a fear in the world!” In reaction to this, all his friends nodded in unison incessantly. This gesture sent the seismic sensors, in the other part of the country, all beeping fervently.

As he walked around, crossing gaily, his “Use Your Horn” lab he remembers how it’s assistant had once made him an, what he now calls, ‘Indecent Proposal.’  “Clearly I was taken aback. I mean, what else do you expect a feather-filled-mattress-of-innocence 12 year old Rhino to do at such situations?” Just as the reporter was stitching his fallen jaw back to its place, Zandiv adds “In retrospect, that event did teach me a lot. Now I totally can put myself in the shoes of my preys when I plan to go for the kill” He smiles, in very rhinolisious way. The report shudders and increases the intermittent distance by a one full hand more.

So, what is he upto nowadays? The reporter asks. To which he replies – “Well, between checking tatkal ticket availabilities for trains to a certain district in Gujarat and pushing the fact down people’s throat that “I Am Awesome” , I usually take out a lot of time in upholding my title of being the first one in our species to have learned the computers.” To which the small one standing next to him replies “Yes, true. Even during the hey-days he used to be super geeky and told us all about How-Not-To-Get-Any...” at which point, he was told shush up by Zandip Sev. We can only guess where that one was headed too.

The reporter at this point is agog about Zandiv’s future endeavours. Do they too involve Matrix-style flowing down equation on a LED screens in all those greeny setups while he tried to make of it? “Well, no.” He says. Followed by “I read the whole ‘Confessions of an Economic Hitman” by John Perkin in one sitting, hogged “False Economy” in one nightfall,  and even skimmed through Nail Furguson’s articles over the Internet. But I set all the acquired enlightenment to rot and planned to join a PGDM course anyway.  In my defence, you can only be on one side of ‘The Truth’ and if you are not one the winning side, then even if that side is ‘The Truth’, it is of no use to you. And I always choose the winning side.”  The report at this point had his ‘Ting’ moment. And he made a small note of the same comment.

On the more personal front, the reporter enquires, how are things? “You see, with great intelligence comes great shiny horns. And the ladies just dig for such combinations” He winks. “I use this special HornyShine^TM block razor to keep my member shining and, well, Horny, if you know what I mean. And then I let contingency take over. Who am I to judge where the things would lead to?” He shrugs and winks again just as some female Rhino nonchalantly dismiss the fact of his existence and walks by. “I also cash on my popularity and do a lot of awareness programs” He informs. “My recent one – Birth Control – is catching up such momentum that I am buck sure that our endangered ratings might shoot up and the world will start taking us seriously. I envisage some uppity news channel even launching a whole damned campaign with some sundry mobile network company which would go as “Save the 1411 Rhinos” or some shit to which no one would have any idea “How to” but still, I might get a photo-op in the bargain.” He smiles. The report is now totally awestruck by the viability of the whole idea.

Just as the reporter was about wrap up the whole meet up thing, he steps down for one final query – “How much does a Rhino of your proportion weighs?” To which Zandiv Sev replies “Don’t ask me The Player. I am a lean-o-mean guy of the lot. Ask the loser fat-wannabe one’s trotting behind” At this point; Zandiv scuttles away leaving behind a cloud of red Tezpury dust, into the deep enclosures of the horizons. In all his Rhino-lic glory.