Wednesday, August 5, 2009

The Pizzascapde - Burp

The day was the 1st of Aug 2009. It just another day with it's share of aloneness, peace and calm. Then suddenly somebody broke the news that it's the first 'Mess Off' of the year. And the butterfly effect started.

Manish comes to my room and express his wish to make it a Pizza Night. Now, if you know what serious hunger pangs are like, you would know that at that particular time, event the sound of a dish makes you weak in the knees. And so it happened, just when you let your guards down things start becoming screwy.

We settled down after deciding that we would go to dominos. But then something came up and we got late. here we should remind ourselves that we live in surat, and it was a Saturday. This is the time when no kitchen in any of the surati home is functional. and each every Tom, Dick , Harry and Jignesh take their fuel guzzling SUVs out and go to a eatery. Where we the lesser mortals have to stand in neverending queues to avail food. Now that it was late, and we were like holding a rat race tournament in our tummies, we decided to go with the Free Home Delivery scheme. And the rollers were set to motion.

Manish started applying his awesome Data Interpretation skills in the pursuit of availing ourselves the best deal. With dominos, the coupon schemes are so ridicules that you actually wonder as to why do they even sell pizza at so high a rate at the first place.

One such scheme was -" A large pizza free on another large pizza"

Just as i listened him speak these lines my tongue went into a self attained salsa trained mode, and i almost never felt my saliva glands having such a huge capacity. And i said the single most most lovely, most beautiful, and faith affirming word in English language - "Yes"

The order - One Large Spicy Chicken + One Large Veggie Extravaganza

The hugeness of the moment was such that i started microblogging about it. The moments just wont seem to pass, I waited engaging myself with a book, then some series, then again a book....the time just won't go by.

Then suddenly, a knock on my door. manish and the Pizza delivery guy stood there. It was almost as if ...no i cant find an equally dramatic and significant metaphor for this. I moicroblogged again.

I washed my hands with my awesome chandrika saboon, put on South Park, and beheld the huge 10" Pizza box in my hand. The scene could be related to lion king ka scene where he holds his son on the edge of the mountain. Magnificent, memorable, muaah!

And then we started. Two slices down, i couldn't believe that this was actually happening to me. oooh man...three slices... hmmm...awesome. Four slizes, alright, wait a min, something just tweaked in the right hand side of my chest...what was that?

Five slices down....burp...burp BURP....the word "mistake" flows out effortlessly from Manish's trap. He stops, asks for water. That's like asking the bull to hit you. I stalled my gaddi too. Assuring myself that i just need a break, you know, and innocuous little break. No friends, in life all that you think it to be, never happens.

I shut down the box....watched South Park.....burp.....tweeted a bit more.....manish was almost dieing in one corner.....i knew even I cudn't make, i wont make it.....may this was it....this is how we are gonna die......hmmm burp....there figures around....pa calling me to come back home.....man making my bed........touzer licking me on face.....me falling off a edge into a tank of water....chaos...more chaos......i was beginng to lose it....i think I have lost....yes i lost that race in 7th sd.....somebody won.......bad....v bad.....why me?....Why Not me?....third year.....bad....no ...i wont make it....i don't know....burp.

Something came over, we got back to our senses, realising what hit us. I summed all my strenght. had a slice more. "THAT DOES IT....No more pizza for a month: says manish "I have acquired a found hatred for anything that begins with a 'P'" I said.

Manish gives up, goes out (still owing me 20/-) I see his 3 slices there, i see my two slices here. Will i throw them? what about those kids about whom i just read in "the Kite Runner"....what about the students of "NIRVANA"...what about all the destitute of the world. The ethical conundrum, the cardinal dilemma....aarghh I cudn't take it any more. I said "Screw it" and threw my pizza to a dog outside my balcony. And threw manishes in a nearby dustbin (seriously, what the hell was that??...even dogs din eat it..lol)

Two mins later, Vikram comes and asks for the leftover pizza. _BEEP_ couldn't he like come a bit earlier _BEEP_

I sit there now, alone....thinking of what i had just done, will be able to look myself in the mirror tomorrow, will this feeling too pass. I din know, I just couldn't know. I feel my right hand side twitch again. Goodness me.

I went to manish's "Dude, gotta go for a walk, or we'll not live to see the morning sun" I say. That lazy bum resists, i pursue him anyway and stroll out. Burp Burp Burp.

We moved round and round the campus, zigzagking every little detour. and never feeling even a tad bit fatigued. After all we had some huge stuff within us.

We come back, and make an unspoken pact "No Pizza for as long as...no Pizza" we drift off in our respective rooms. I remember tweeting again. I sleep

Cut to today, Beep Beep, msg "dude awesome offer on dominos pizza....buy a medium get 50% off on large" incorrigible dumasses...the story will repeat someday i guess.

Burp

5 comments:

Neeraj said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Shantanu said...

Call me too the next time u decide to order a free large pizza with another large pizza...i think then you wont have to worry about all those children about whom u read in KITE RUNNER...or the NIRVANA...and neither will you have to throw it away to the dogs...plus you will also have one extra person to pay...less money to pay per person.

But anyhow...the article was nice.
full of humour.
Dont know about the world i liked it.

P.S. @Nijeesh:please remove the pizza pic from the article...i feel hungry when i see it!!

Nijeesh Sayz said...

hahaha....shantu baby,..tht Pizza was meant to unsettle ppl like u!!

SHASHANK said...

hi nijeesh
ur photoshop skills is really impressive
i guess thats the software you are using

Nijeesh Sayz said...

Yups!

Pointless reflections

It sometimes occurs to me, that some of us are engaged in practicing certain set of ‘things’. These things, which if continuously practic...