General Buzzi...er..Musing.

To be Regular - A buzzed Fortnightly Forecast for my near (?) and Dears (??!) at NIT surat

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Aries: This is it. This is how it will end. As an aftermath of you approach on the 14th by now you mst have been pepper-sprayed upon. Lonely, cribbing, crying. All you have to yourself now are these crappy 1st internals. Break a leg. Njoy.

Taurus: You will begin as a motivational speaker for the aries losers but end up as a certified nag. And hence, getting pepper-sprayed yourself. Keep away from awesomnessing at all cost. It just is NOT your thing. Peace out homies.

Gemini: Your persistent pursuit of landing free food will lead you to a mousetrap. Quite literally so. All your pricey possessions are right now been eyed upon and await only your inevitable execution by the hands of a frustrated cancerian.

Cancer: Some things are best kept between you and the neighbors. Like a fence. Your try to go past the elusive ‘other side’ can , and ….uhh.. WILL get you in trouble. And, as mentioned earlier, make you strangle a Gemini making you a legal felon and informal loserly.

Leo: You guys actually ARE libra. Yes, mommy lied to you to get you admitted in a decent school as your 3 year old ass couldn’t tell an apple from a ping-pong ball. GO cry.

ahem ahem
Virgo: Apart from the fact that you ARE awesome. Great things like a 76% return on your recent investment, a cliff launch for a bungee jump, couple of dates with supermodels are aplenty in forecast for you guys. You have been/are/ will always be the CHOSEN one. (this has nothing, NOTHING to do with me being a Virgo. #Truth)

Libra: The universe continues it’s Love-hate relation with you. And let’s just say the better half of it will remain pointing to the ‘Hate’ end. Unsolicited questions by you will get you into deep red soup which would, strangely enough, taste like Musli Power.

Scorpio: You have been in limelight for your darkside. As big an irony that may be, it cannot surpass the fact you like INDIA TV and people no more really want to be with you. And time has come that you stop being seen around with people who pee in the street. Period.

Sagittarius: The only reason as to why you still are present on the face of the earth is that there still remains a great deal of stand up comedy to be delivered. Being used as a tool is something you by now are privy to and more of it this fortnight awaits. Njoy, no seriously i mean it.

Capricorn: The fact that you guys even ARE a zodiac sign is unsettling. You are what Chem dept is to NIT surat. No one really knows where it is or what the heck is it for. This congenital redundancy would resurface to kick you in your nux. Beware.

Aquarius: Nobody is perfect. Especially you. You would want to emulate the awesomeness of the Virgo but fall face firsts doing so. Always remember, somethings are better left for the Big Dogs. You, on the other hand, are advices to keep yourself engaged in productive activities (cough) like making rubber-band guitars and other (lame ) stuff you can excel at.

Pisces: Forseeing for this huge bunch of really good for nothing has made me dog tired and hence, i would pass on you. Moreover the crystal ball is lost too. Go figure your fortnight out yourself. But remember - Gravity never loses. The best you can hope for is a draw.

Buzz Out.