[i think emotions can better be expressed....when in poetry, one such by me.]

I pity.....myself

I pity myself I can’t hate
I shame myself, I can’t be late
Cool or hot…
I love myself for what I’m not.

I’m trapped in world that sees me down
I’m trapped in web that would seize me down
I have swum a river that had no water…
I have jumped a hill which had no height

I went through all this thinking of my ideals
I crossed all this preserving my thoughts
A surge then appeared front, behind and at sides….
Of people, like a huge tide….
They thought I’m not like them
They thought I’m a fool, more happy than dumb
They wanted me to be gloom
They wanted me to be a puppet
They wanted me to be a pessimist
They wanted me to be a sadist
I refused….
I refute….

The surge was no farther
It was on me, crushing, bruising…using force
I felt what I thought was true….
But the fact too held….
That I just ‘Felt’….

I stood up, they had gone….
Pains reaching my bone…
I turned starting to go…..
Thinking about the beat I just ate…..
I pity myself I can’t hate
I shame my self I can’t be late….